Where have I been? Around...things change in life, and as I read the blog posts of yesteryear that I splattered across these pages with wild abandon, I realize the absolute depth of my change.

So what am I here to say? First, some shameless self promotion laced with an attempt to show anyone that may return to this forgotten and most-likely haunted blog that I have not been static. I have grown, achieved some goals, and hope to continue. I have finally realized what most people probably know--life is a collection of meaningful moments because they are what comprise the entire arc of a life lived fully, and you should know that, too (obvious right? Then why wasn't I/am I not living it that way?). It ebbs and flows like a river hiding the world in its depths, and as such, each day should be lived in the way that you want to live the preceding years.


Now, click the picture to find my story titled:

 

 

 



 

And then return here to read the musings of the woman behind the story. I have returned, by the way.


~Prosepunk

Today, My Glass Is....

...and the water is as delicious and refreshing as it looks.

I'm sitting here enjoying whatever my Zune spits out (it's on random) and I'm inclined to reflect on the leaps and bounds I've made in the last few months. Actual leaps, actual bounds ( I dance every night). I've been writing so much that I might actually be allowed to call myself a writer, and I've achieved something I didn't think I ever would, I feel, fulfilled.

I still have plenty of time to gain more fulfillment for the day one is satisfied is the day the heart stops beating, but I must admit that being productive in a field where I can fathomably succeed is the jolt I needed to realize that I'm much more than a pretty face. Much more. A very pretty face, of course, but being pretty doesn't make your insides golden and honestly someone out there, most likely someone with some sort of visual handicap, doesn't think I'm all that pretty to begin with and probably would encourage me to base my worth on my intellect alone.

With that said, I think I'm finding it hard to maintain the tone I wish for prosepunk to have when I've spent a lot of time lately writing in a more serious, professional manner. This is a challenge I must meet as well.

My only current complaint with my own achievements is that I'm STILL trying to wade my way through Final Fantasy 12. When I finally write my blog post about that game upon completion, I might have to title it: How I Finished the Longest Game in History and Lived to Talk About It.

So to close this rambling but endearing mess of a blog post, I must tell you, dear reader, that being productive produces endorphines! So get out there and show the world that you're much more than your exterior, and grab motivation by the bootstraps, it's time to take the world by storm!!!

I kid, I kid...

I joke a lot about my neurosis and my procrastination on this blog but that's only because it's true! Just kidding...I doubt I procrastinate any more or any less than the average sensory-overloaded American, however I am VERY hard on myself and since I am currently in a position where I have lots of freetime, I am trying to reign myself in and give myself structue.

I would like to focus on the positive aspects of mysef today, self deprecation can only take one so far...

~I'm an excellent speaker, and a human dictionary, otherwise known as a nerd!

~I am obsessed with correct grammer and spelling, though maybe this blog doesn't display this fact! It's informal, give me a break! Bet you didn't notice I spelled grammar wrong back there. Exactly. Life is a test sucka.

~I am an encyclopedia of music, movies, some history, books, etc. I know everything. Ask me.

~I'm gorgeous, maybe I'll post a pic sometime...

~I have an ENGLISH DEGREE, which may seem like a weakness but I assure you it's a strength!

~I am friendly--if you don't get on my bad side!! Watch out!

~I am open to new experiences, I tackle any task presented with fervor, and I try my best at EVERYTHING I do. Boredom is typically my enemy, if I get bored with something, that's when the procrastination sets in but I've made leaps and bounds in this department lately.

~I'm not doing "absolutely nothing" everyday, my one clear goal is to be a writer--a novelist in particular--and I write almost everyday. I'm working on a novel right now, I bet you can't wait to read it.

There's more but the self love is getting out of hand and I wouldn't want to make anyone feel bad about themselves. So...tell me, in a world where our weaknesses always seem to be the most stark in our eyes, what makes you amazing?

Take this as a good sign, because

the last thing I wanted to do today is write in this blog. Why? Who knows? Becuase I'm self-destructive and under motivated. Perhaps. But you're not a psychiatrist so don't make those groundless claims. Anyway, I'm here anyway, writing away, thinking about what useless self reflection I can spread across these vibrant pages today...

I'm coming along on my goals, but it's not easy. I'm still trudging through Final Fantasy 12 although I broke my '1 game at a time rule' by starting Dragon Quest 9 on the DSi, and it's a well needed breath of fresh air after playing only FF12 for the last couple of weeks, though I will say, and I never ever thought I would say this, I'm getting a little RPG'd out. I think that after I finish FF12 and DQIX, I might take a break from the RPG's for a spell.

I recently picked up Metal Gear Solid:Peacewalker for the PSP, and I'm really excited to play it which is why I'm trying even harder to get a fire under my patootie to make me finish FF12. That game is absolutely relentless.

Guitar is coming along quite nicely, I'm practicing daily and steadily and I'm improving in a painstakingly slow manner but I'm still interested and I haven't let it sit in the corner forgotten yet like many hobby's before it, so I'll take that as a good sign!! This is only day...5 I think of having it, if not less so I can't be too proud yet, it could still be given up on yet...but it won't, darn doubt is a powerful thing! Don't let it overpower you, reader, it is a crippling ravenous unrelenting thing!!

Life is progressing a little better than it had been previously, usually I'm a complete slave to my thoughts worries but I've become a little less so as of late. Gotta give props to myself for that because usually I am absolutely neurotic, which has lead me to decide to read about Carl Jung's theory of neurosis to gain a little more perspective on this whole thing because typically I joke about being neurotic, but in true American hypochondriac form I've also discovered that a lot of the symptoms of neurosis could apply to me if I weren't so beautiful and "normal"!!

Anyway, thanks for reading. I hope that the world is treating you better than it is me, and if it isn't, it's your own dang fault:)

PeacyWeacy!

Goals, not just another word for scoring in soccer.

Okay, so I like many of you out there have goals. I barely know what they are anymore because I haven't actually met one in so long but as usual I digress.

I have goals but because I spin my wheels daily and procrastinate, I never meet them. Proof of that is on this blog for your eyes to see...or not see..I planned to sate your thirst for all things Prosepunk by posting a not that cliche Top 10 Video Games List, but yet, it remains non existent. Sad, I know, but I admitted I have a problem with doing what I need to do and darn it I meant it!

With that said I'm going to place my goals, large and small on this blog so that they are in the world where people may witness them and scoff when I fail to meet them. Maybe this will light a fire under my bum--or not. Only time will tell. Here is a list of my goals, in no particular order, and with no chance of being met! LOL.

1. Finish Final Fantasy 12 so I don't feel like a fraud when I put it on my top video games list
2. Finish reading 7 Habits of Highly Effective People  (ignore the irony)
3. Get to "book 2" of my current project (more on that later)
4. Prepare my poetry to send out to a contest. (It ain't about winning, it's about DOING!)
5. Make THE decision, stick to it, and better myself (purposely cryptic)
6.Finish my re-read of Shepherd of the Wolves (love that book!)
7. Restart and finish Shadows Fall

Now these goals seem small but one must begin with the small stuff, I haven't the capability to work on the most important things in my life yet, though a few of them do appear on the list.

As I meet these goals, if I meet these goals, I will write about them on this blog so that catharsis can power me toward even better achievements. I hope I don't disappoint myself, because that's what matters the most.

I may add more goals, who knows? Life is about goals mostly, and if  I ever hope to claw my way out of the sludge of mediocrity I need to get some pep in my step, some drive...I need to become what I am not--a go-getter.

Wish me luck!