Tuesday, September 21, 2010

P.U. What a PILE OF EXCREMENT--Here's to you, AMWAY

Let me start it off a little somethin' like this....

"Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances."

-First Amendment RIGHTS babay!!

Don't you just wanna take the first amendment out to dinner, bang it in the back seat of your Mercedes and cook it breakfast in the morning? Don't you want to discover it's just as beautiful on the inside as it is on the outside and fly to the east coast to meet its family? Don't you want to get down on one knee and propose marriage to it? Don't you wanna just marry it and make a beautiful baby with it and name it FREEDOM OF SPEECH?

I bet you do, but let me tell you, I did all that and more with FIRST AMENDMENT, and here's our child FREEDOM OF SPEECH's first essay:

Amway, you are such a scam that I'm curious to see how you will handle me now that you think I'm roped in. Scams are alive and well people. The economy is supposedly in the crap tank, the media has assured us that nobody has a job so the  poor and unemployed need to just start giving up on everything, ain't that right minorities? Disenfranchised? Give up, and paste your tissue-thin dreams on the oozing puss filled skin of a company like AMWAY. "Aren't you TIRED of working like these poor slobs out here among you?" Says Amway global representative hereafter referred to as Amscamma S. Scammerson-Amway, or to abbreviate, A.S.S. I'm dropping the hyphenated portion of the surname for for brevity, oh and dropping the periods for--um aesthetics.   

So ASS is very well put together, he even bought his snazzy bright shirt and chrome colored tie from some smoke-screen company that peddles its wares beneath Amway's poisonous shroud of product-production!! "It's not a scam," ASS assures us, "Best Buy and Barnes and Noble's associate their products with this company!" Oh my GOSH Best Buy! A glorified CD store that is staying afloat by merit of 3D flat screens only the rich/and or dumb would buy, is associated with it! Barnes and Noble's, a company in the business of selling bound stacks of paper called **books--yeah the same book the average American considers to be words beamed at them from glowing screens at their fingertips, is associated with Amway? Great! Sign me up, and what the eff word is Shop.com? Give me a break--please.

 For a demonstration of the types of products one can sell if he or she decides to set up an online store supplied by Amway, someone brought us a quarter of chocolate and chalk flavored "energy" bar and  tap water thaat for all I know was freshly poured into plastic bottles--the same ones as those clogging up our ecosystem (let me add that I had a crazy addiction to bottled water until I realized the amount of waste that I as one person was causing the environment--so filtered water from then on out--sorry mother earth) So I drank some water ASS described as the purest filtered water in the universe, and it was really delicious and all but I prefer vapor distilled *flip my hair*. I drank the water and then strained uncomfortably as someone tugged on my arm-- only to then administer me an elaborate physical test to show how drinking water from the tap in the kitchen which was poured into a plastic bottle with a PLASTIC label sleeve will allow me to stretch farther and not be pulled off balance in an awkward way by that someone who from now on shall be referred to as Sidekick.

ASS also kept taking inappropriate digs at the Army and its retirement plan of all things in an effort to tout the superiority of Amway and the $600,000 salary it pays its "employees" "annually" "in real money" that is "able to be used outside of Monopoly". So here's when I should have raised my hand and asked "ASS, what f##king planet do you think I'm from? Make six hundred thousand dollars from selling bullsh#t off the Internet that any person who can click a mouse can buy on their own without having to deal with a shady middle man? A mysterious middle man like you with an easel and PowerPoint poster board who was hired to blur the lines between Amway and the "dumb" mark chosen by the Sidekick?"

But no, as I often do when in the trajectory of  bulsh?t I put on a polite face and played along to lessen the level of awkwardness in the room because I can only take so much. Had I asked all the questions I wanted to ask maybe ASS would've made eye contact with at least 1 person in the room besides Sidekick while he shat at the mouth for an hour.

What else...what else....oh, here's a classic ASS statement aimed at anyone who doesn't jump on this opportunity of a lifetime, "some people aren't ready to be millionaires, they're satisfied with driving a HONDA" hilarious. Yeah what a sh*t car! A HONDA? Nooooooo!!! Not a HONDA. Please give me death before you give me a HONDA! I'm an American who's given up on her dreams and the only thing that will put me back in hopeful bliss is to sell energy drinks over the Internet. Blech. Who believes this stuff? So anyway he shoved a disc and a some company literature into my hand and told us to MAKE AN APPOINTMENT WITH HIM to return the disc. SCAM TURBO! He slithers his way into your house in the form of Robert T. Kiyosaki's  "The Business of the 21st Century"-- a disc that that contains what is probably the worst thing I would have ever seen if I planned to ever view it. Here is a photograph of Mr. Kiyosaki's disc "The Business of the 21st Century" along with the entry form and some other waste of glossy paper for this exclusive society of entrepreneurs lying among some trash and other refuse:

*Can you guess which 3 items cannot be recycled? Answer at end of blog post.

So you see what I think of that. I think it's clear. Keep in mind, this stuff isn't crap to Amway,  ASS, and his superiors, I guarantee you. It's how they get you--they tell you the disc has to be returned to them so you have to be subjected once again to their gilded words that promise a salary near that of surgeons and the like.

Or what's worse, if you somehow don't return the disc to them, I bet they'll try to find some way to charge you for it!! I don't know yet, let's see how this unfolds...my plan is to mail the disc and the other materials to Amway if they even have a physical address, along with a scan of this blog post. Now here's the inevitable question that you will most likely ask:

"Ihearttomorrow, why you got such a beef with Amway? Who cares if it's a scam! Just don't fall for it and be on your way!"

I'll tell you why phantom inquisitor, Amway and companies like it breed predators who feed on those who they think may be struggling financially in this economy, those who may just be slightly vulnerable enough to be sucked into this circus with expectations that are never met even though people like ASS make it seem like such successes are only a Power bar sale away.

According to some sources, (though not one of the sources Amway lists in its literature as the "proper" websites to view to learn about its reputation. ASS said that Amway suggests good sites to visit because in his words "just like information flows over the Internet, crap can too", crap being anything negative about Amway I'm sure.) anyway according to some sources, one of which being a website I came across which can be  found by clickity-clicking this link  says Amway is just your average everyday run-of-the-mill multi-level marketing or MLM "marketing strategy". It also claims any scams that occur  are out of Amway's control and only the fault of Amway's representatives. So don't blame Amway because the people it uses to recruit people to sell its product are the corrupt ones--not Amway itself, who employs the recruiters.
 Let's just admit for a second that Amway can't control the way each and every representative chooses to make his/her money while selling Amway's products and mentoring others into starting "franchises". Why doesn't Amway start holding the representatives to some sort of ethical standard? Why aren't they subjected to a monitoring system so that they are not given free reign to pound the pavement looking for marks--in this case, soldiers of all people. Soldiers serve our country--blindly most times--and then Amway dispatches its minions to lead veterans down a slippery slope that ties their money up in what looks to be nothing more than a pyramid scheme. Just another example of normal people being hustled and syphoned by a nameless faceless oligarchy sitting at the pinnacle. 

Here are some other strange tidbits about this gem of a business proposal:

-Confusing literature outlining a suspiciously pyramid-shaped business plan that could confound even Einstein's ghost

-Snake-like representatives with beepers on their belt. Yes he had a beeper, yes this blog post is being written in 2010

-This particular representative used an easel with a dry erase board and PowerPoint poster boards--known tools of the scammer trade

-Demonstrations that make no sense and are irrelevant

-Amway is supposedly only the supplier of some entity called the World Wide Group ( if you read the wikipedia article attached to the link, wherever you see the word Diamond replace it with the word Pyramid)  who mentor you if you agree to sell Amway's crapola.

-ASS spoke of top seller's receiving an all expense paid trip to Disney Land or World or whatever Walt Disney named that over-priced "amusement park" that doesn't even have half the roller coasters Cedar Point in Sandusky, Ohio has. Apparently, the entire park is closed down while the top sellers have free reign. Oh, and ASS promised that you would stay in a Five Star hotel. Yeah. Right.

-Did I mention this guy made no eye contact? I watched the whole time trying to see for sure, and he didn't look anyone in the face once during his presentation

There's more but I'm tired and ready to go to sleep. My point is, don't let your common sense be curtailed during these tough economic times. If something sounds too good to be true, hell if it sounds nearly as dumb as the situation I was just involved in, don't even entertain it for a minute. If someone from Amway tries to hand you a disc, unless you're going to write a blog post warning others away from Amway and its pyramid of nightmares, slap the disc out of their hands and run away. 

Be smart, and be leery, because during times like these the leeches and con-artists make their desperate strike.

Oh, here's the answer to the question below the photo above:

I'm too clever for my own good.

**I for one love paper books by the way, I also love Barnes and Noble's, but because they sell books that doesn't mean I'll blindly follow any organization attached to it--i.e. Amway.

***Please note that the person I referred to as Sidekick is being scammed by the Amway representative and is most times NOT A SCAMMER him or herself. Sidekick is usually a friend or someone who may not realize that this is a pyramid scheme, so they are only trying to help and do you a favor when they invite you to hear about this crap pile.


  1. Amway has ripped off millions of people for several decades, to the tune of 10s of billions of dollars. If you were an IBO within the past 4 years and want to get your Amway Tool Scam money back, contact me at hawaiianibo@yahoo.com in order to join my lawsuit.

    Read about the Amway Tool Scam on this website: http://texsquixtarblog.blogspot.com/2010/08/case-against-amway-tool-scam.html and forward the information to everyone you know, so they can join the lawsuit and stopped getting scammed.

    Amway is a scam, and here's why: Amway pays out as little money as they can get away with, so they support the higher level IBOs ripping off their downline via the tool scam.

    As a result, about 99% of IBOs operate at a net loss, while the top 1% make several TIMES more from their Amway tool scam than from the Amway products. This was made illegal in the UK in 2008, but our FTC is unable to pull their heads out of their butts to stop it here.

  2. Thanks for the comment! Everything you're saying seems to go along the lines of whatI read about this Amway shenanigan--people need to stay far away because I'm sure no one can afford to throw their money into the garbage which is what this whole thing amounts to.