T-shirt Mind Control: Sneaker Pimps

I can't believe I haven't made a music post yet!!! Hooray for music! And in particular, the Sneaker Pimps!! If you've never had the pleasure of listening to them, and if you're into acts like Portishead or Massive Attack you may just like to take a sip of Sneaker Pimps for they are a delicious treat for any trip-hop fan, or music fan for that matter.

The Sneaker Pimps were formed in '94 in Hartlepool, England by Chris Corner and Liam Howe. Their first album Becoming X was recorded with vocals done by Kelli Dayton, but on follow up albums like Bloodsport (the album that introduced them to me) lead vocals were done by Chris Corner himself.

^^That's all the technical stuff, but here's what I want to say from the heart...As a writer, I use music a lot for inspiration. My tastes run far and wide but there are a few staples in my repertoire, a few artists that I cannot do without, and the Sneaker Pimps have more than earned a spot in my "music to write to" library. Haunting could describe their work, harsh, unique, bass heavy, beat heavy...emotional, spine tingling, damn good....but I don't want to just blurt out adjectives, even though I just did!!

With that said, I want to tell anyone who'll listen to go pick up  their 2002 album Bloodsport, as it is the most readily available of all their work, and listen to it all the way through. Infectious beats and excellent production and tone will force you to seek out the maxi-single Spin-Spin Sugar which contains 4 songs ("Spin Spin Sugar"-2 versions, "Walk the Rain"--amazing  bass line will make you wiggle in auditory ecstasy, "How Do"--haunting) that will leave you wishing you could find their other albums--it is possible that their early stuff can be found through Amazon or the like, but the avenues I use (Zune pass) only offer Bloodsport and Spin-Spin Sugar for download.

The Sneaker Pimps have pretty much disbanded, with Chris Corner and Kelli Dayton moving on to solo projects that I'm in the process of checking out...but my main mission here today with the mildly creative photographs of me wearing a crudely made shirt is to control your mind so you buy/download  Bloodsport and listen to the song "Loretta Young Silks". This album shines with multiple musical gems, but every time I hear that song I want to stop whatever I'm doing and glide around  my house lost in the sounds assaulting my elevated consciousness. I think the Sneaker Pimps are way too underground, too enshrouded in a darkness that their amazing music will permeate if we all know to check them out, especially since many of you have probably heard their stuff without knowing it was them. My T-shirt hopes to bring them to the light. Come to me, readers, and let my T-shirt mind control open your brain and lead it to new avenues of musical brilliance. I promise you won't regret it. Oh, and any Brits reading this can disregard this entire post, for I am sure you are already hip to them.

Sneaker Pimps Discography:

Becoming X- 1996
Becoming Remixed-1998
Splinter - 1999
Bloodsport - 2002
SP4- never released, but some of the work can be found on Chris Corner's project IAMX

You can find out more, here.

PeacyWeacy!!

P.U. What a PILE OF EXCREMENT--Here's to you, AMWAY

Let me start it off a little somethin' like this....

"Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances."

-First Amendment RIGHTS babay!!

Don't you just wanna take the first amendment out to dinner, bang it in the back seat of your Mercedes and cook it breakfast in the morning? Don't you want to discover it's just as beautiful on the inside as it is on the outside and fly to the east coast to meet its family? Don't you want to get down on one knee and propose marriage to it? Don't you wanna just marry it and make a beautiful baby with it and name it FREEDOM OF SPEECH?

I bet you do, but let me tell you, I did all that and more with FIRST AMENDMENT, and here's our child FREEDOM OF SPEECH's first essay:

Amway, you are such a scam that I'm curious to see how you will handle me now that you think I'm roped in. Scams are alive and well people. The economy is supposedly in the crap tank, the media has assured us that nobody has a job so the  poor and unemployed need to just start giving up on everything, ain't that right minorities? Disenfranchised? Give up, and paste your tissue-thin dreams on the oozing puss filled skin of a company like AMWAY. "Aren't you TIRED of working like these poor slobs out here among you?" Says Amway global representative hereafter referred to as Amscamma S. Scammerson-Amway, or to abbreviate, A.S.S. I'm dropping the hyphenated portion of the surname for for brevity, oh and dropping the periods for--um aesthetics.   

So ASS is very well put together, he even bought his snazzy bright shirt and chrome colored tie from some smoke-screen company that peddles its wares beneath Amway's poisonous shroud of product-production!! "It's not a scam," ASS assures us, "Best Buy and Barnes and Noble's associate their products with this company!" Oh my GOSH Best Buy! A glorified CD store that is staying afloat by merit of 3D flat screens only the rich/and or dumb would buy, is associated with it! Barnes and Noble's, a company in the business of selling bound stacks of paper called **books--yeah the same book the average American considers to be words beamed at them from glowing screens at their fingertips, is associated with Amway? Great! Sign me up, and what the eff word is Shop.com? Give me a break--please.

 For a demonstration of the types of products one can sell if he or she decides to set up an online store supplied by Amway, someone brought us a quarter of chocolate and chalk flavored "energy" bar and  tap water thaat for all I know was freshly poured into plastic bottles--the same ones as those clogging up our ecosystem (let me add that I had a crazy addiction to bottled water until I realized the amount of waste that I as one person was causing the environment--so filtered water from then on out--sorry mother earth) So I drank some water ASS described as the purest filtered water in the universe, and it was really delicious and all but I prefer vapor distilled *flip my hair*. I drank the water and then strained uncomfortably as someone tugged on my arm-- only to then administer me an elaborate physical test to show how drinking water from the tap in the kitchen which was poured into a plastic bottle with a PLASTIC label sleeve will allow me to stretch farther and not be pulled off balance in an awkward way by that someone who from now on shall be referred to as Sidekick.

ASS also kept taking inappropriate digs at the Army and its retirement plan of all things in an effort to tout the superiority of Amway and the $600,000 salary it pays its "employees" "annually" "in real money" that is "able to be used outside of Monopoly". So here's when I should have raised my hand and asked "ASS, what f##king planet do you think I'm from? Make six hundred thousand dollars from selling bullsh#t off the Internet that any person who can click a mouse can buy on their own without having to deal with a shady middle man? A mysterious middle man like you with an easel and PowerPoint poster board who was hired to blur the lines between Amway and the "dumb" mark chosen by the Sidekick?"

But no, as I often do when in the trajectory of  bulsh?t I put on a polite face and played along to lessen the level of awkwardness in the room because I can only take so much. Had I asked all the questions I wanted to ask maybe ASS would've made eye contact with at least 1 person in the room besides Sidekick while he shat at the mouth for an hour.

What else...what else....oh, here's a classic ASS statement aimed at anyone who doesn't jump on this opportunity of a lifetime, "some people aren't ready to be millionaires, they're satisfied with driving a HONDA" hilarious. Yeah what a sh*t car! A HONDA? Nooooooo!!! Not a HONDA. Please give me death before you give me a HONDA! I'm an American who's given up on her dreams and the only thing that will put me back in hopeful bliss is to sell energy drinks over the Internet. Blech. Who believes this stuff? So anyway he shoved a disc and a some company literature into my hand and told us to MAKE AN APPOINTMENT WITH HIM to return the disc. SCAM TURBO! He slithers his way into your house in the form of Robert T. Kiyosaki's  "The Business of the 21st Century"-- a disc that that contains what is probably the worst thing I would have ever seen if I planned to ever view it. Here is a photograph of Mr. Kiyosaki's disc "The Business of the 21st Century" along with the entry form and some other waste of glossy paper for this exclusive society of entrepreneurs lying among some trash and other refuse:

*Can you guess which 3 items cannot be recycled? Answer at end of blog post.

So you see what I think of that. I think it's clear. Keep in mind, this stuff isn't crap to Amway,  ASS, and his superiors, I guarantee you. It's how they get you--they tell you the disc has to be returned to them so you have to be subjected once again to their gilded words that promise a salary near that of surgeons and the like.

Or what's worse, if you somehow don't return the disc to them, I bet they'll try to find some way to charge you for it!! I don't know yet, let's see how this unfolds...my plan is to mail the disc and the other materials to Amway if they even have a physical address, along with a scan of this blog post. Now here's the inevitable question that you will most likely ask:

"Ihearttomorrow, why you got such a beef with Amway? Who cares if it's a scam! Just don't fall for it and be on your way!"

I'll tell you why phantom inquisitor, Amway and companies like it breed predators who feed on those who they think may be struggling financially in this economy, those who may just be slightly vulnerable enough to be sucked into this circus with expectations that are never met even though people like ASS make it seem like such successes are only a Power bar sale away.

According to some sources, (though not one of the sources Amway lists in its literature as the "proper" websites to view to learn about its reputation. ASS said that Amway suggests good sites to visit because in his words "just like information flows over the Internet, crap can too", crap being anything negative about Amway I'm sure.) anyway according to some sources, one of which being a website I came across which can be  found by clickity-clicking this link  says Amway is just your average everyday run-of-the-mill multi-level marketing or MLM "marketing strategy". It also claims any scams that occur  are out of Amway's control and only the fault of Amway's representatives. So don't blame Amway because the people it uses to recruit people to sell its product are the corrupt ones--not Amway itself, who employs the recruiters.

      

 Let's just admit for a second that Amway can't control the way each and every representative chooses to make his/her money while selling Amway's products and mentoring others into starting "franchises". Why doesn't Amway start holding the representatives to some sort of ethical standard? Why aren't they subjected to a monitoring system so that they are not given free reign to pound the pavement looking for marks--in this case, soldiers of all people. Soldiers serve our country--blindly most times--and then Amway dispatches its minions to lead veterans down a slippery slope that ties their money up in what looks to be nothing more than a pyramid scheme. Just another example of normal people being hustled and syphoned by a nameless faceless oligarchy sitting at the pinnacle. 

Here are some other strange tidbits about this gem of a business proposal:

-Confusing literature outlining a suspiciously pyramid-shaped business plan that could confound even Einstein's ghost

-Snake-like representatives with beepers on their belt. Yes he had a beeper, yes this blog post is being written in 2010

-This particular representative used an easel with a dry erase board and PowerPoint poster boards--known tools of the scammer trade

-Demonstrations that make no sense and are irrelevant

-Amway is supposedly only the supplier of some entity called the World Wide Group ( if you read the wikipedia article attached to the link, wherever you see the word Diamond replace it with the word Pyramid)  who mentor you if you agree to sell Amway's crapola.

-ASS spoke of top seller's receiving an all expense paid trip to Disney Land or World or whatever Walt Disney named that over-priced "amusement park" that doesn't even have half the roller coasters Cedar Point in Sandusky, Ohio has. Apparently, the entire park is closed down while the top sellers have free reign. Oh, and ASS promised that you would stay in a Five Star hotel. Yeah. Right.

-Did I mention this guy made no eye contact? I watched the whole time trying to see for sure, and he didn't look anyone in the face once during his presentation

There's more but I'm tired and ready to go to sleep. My point is, don't let your common sense be curtailed during these tough economic times. If something sounds too good to be true, hell if it sounds nearly as dumb as the situation I was just involved in, don't even entertain it for a minute. If someone from Amway tries to hand you a disc, unless you're going to write a blog post warning others away from Amway and its pyramid of nightmares, slap the disc out of their hands and run away. 

Be smart, and be leery, because during times like these the leeches and con-artists make their desperate strike.

Oh, here's the answer to the question below the photo above:

I'm too clever for my own good.

**I for one love paper books by the way, I also love Barnes and Noble's, but because they sell books that doesn't mean I'll blindly follow any organization attached to it--i.e. Amway.

***Please note that the person I referred to as Sidekick is being scammed by the Amway representative and is most times NOT A SCAMMER him or herself. Sidekick is usually a friend or someone who may not realize that this is a pyramid scheme, so they are only trying to help and do you a favor when they invite you to hear about this crap pile.

Now that's what I call a vivid weekend!!

I had a good weekend, actually, I can't remember the last time I had a weekend as good as this one.

Short post today, but I'll leave a picture of myself here on this blog to help me remember the good times when the bad ones shine the brightest. There I am in the center, throwing up rock and roll horns to pay homage to all the posers that have ever taken a picture in a position similar to mine. Horns and waterfalls forever.

PeacyWeacy!!

Anger on the 'net

So I'm a pretty even tempered girl, at least that's what people never tell me, but today I lost my well tempered cool.

I went to a website which I will not name so that it doesn't get any traffic (like I need to worry about that because no one will even ever read this :)) But anyway I went to this website and there was a post about the BEAUTIFUL Naomi Campbell, and the site owner said something moderately racist which I let slide because that's this guy's MO, but then someone comments underneath "Someone, bring this monkey back to the zoo."

WTF? I don't understand how people can be so mean and insensitive. Racism is so played out and ignorant. I can find about a million reasons to hate someone and believe me none of them ever involve some one's skin color because that stuff does not matter, nor does it have anything to do with the content of a person's character.

I wonder when the day will come where I don't have to be insulted by association. Whenever there's a picture of black person, famous or not, on a website that is not predominately black one must be prepared to read the ignorant comments made by the backwoods shack-dwellers of the world. It's tiring.

What's more, I can't help but comment. So I left an expletive filled comment below the racist one, though what use is it? There is no use because for my words to have any effect they have to be read and interpreted and retained by a rational and intelligent human being, two words that fail to describe ANYONE who's prejudiced.

I wish that we could focus on the important stuff like all these zany wars and human trafficking and ending pollution. I wish I didn't have to worry about seeing the word "NIGGER" emblazoned across the ad-laden pages of a website frequented by bored neanderthals, I wish I could smack the racists and show them the light.

Alas, that will never happen, so I guess I have to continue being a strong beautiful black woman who gets her value and worth from within herself, because I learn more and more everyday that I can't expect to get any real genuine consistent appreciation from anywhere else:(

"Boohoo!!" Right? "Stop crying" right? Is that what you're thinking? Well you know what I say to you? You're right. I'm gonna stop crying because there's no use. I have to be happy and ignore all the horrible aspects of the world because focusing on the good is so much better. Now let's take a moment to think of all the people who surround us--the people that are of different cultural backgrounds and religions etc. Think of them and appreciate them, or hate them because of their perceived character flaws-- because they are people with feelings and goals and hopes and dreams and loved ones and bad habits and murderous intentions--all of this exists independent of their melanin or lack thereof. Think about it.

Yay for Postive Body Image!!

...Is what I wish I could say when I look at my pre-spruce-up state or even  post-spruce-up state in the mirror. Like most women I am not immune to becoming fixated on some aspect of my physical self that I cannot change without a disposable bank account and a penchant for plastic surgery.

Fixation on the imperfections of various parts of my body seem to change with the wind, for example, one day I'll think my baby toenail is too symmetrical (yes I know what that means, I'm trying to be ironic--I think!) then the next day I've forgotten about my toes and now think my knuckles aren't as graceful as I wish they were and that's when I know I am hung up on these things because I'm a lunatic woman who's too obsessed with her looks. And then I decide to break-up with myself because I'm horribly superficial.

After deciding to talk things over instead of kicking myself directly to the curb, I ask myself "why do I let these stupid things bother me? Why do I ever let myself feel subconscious while gazing upon a photograph of myself  I took an hour before because if I looked that good then how could I possibly be living up to such amazingly hard to reach astronomical standards now?" So I decide to stop and say to myself, "*e*u*i*a" <<that's me disguising my incredibly long and hard to pronounce first name>> I say, " you are beautiful, and if nothing else you are as beautiful as you are going to get. Work with it, use it to secure favorable blog reviews, and then chuck away all thoughts of physical appearance in situations in which beauty and outter appearance hold no weight. So pretty much I could stop thinking about my looks and how people perceive me when I went to bed every night--just kidding.

^^^That my readers was a random rambling tongue-in-cheek digression the likes of which you shall never see produced by a sensible young woman ever again!!

Getting to the point of this post, self image is a very important aspect of our inner selves and with some people, particularly young women, it's a cause of heartache and depression and has lead many women into drastic methods to fix what they don't  like through surgery and such. Instead of focusing on our few imperfections (believe me, they're tiny) focus on things about ourselves that we do like, every woman should be taught by their mothers that to feel good about themselves--exude confidence and play up the assets. If you didn't know- now you know- once again, be confident, play up the assets, but most importantly, be more than your looks for Pete's sake.

Believe that you are worth about a million percent more based on what's inside of you. The things that make you smile and the things you say that make others do the same, the way you talk friends down from ledges after the stocks plummet or the way you speak to homeless people who corner you at the gas station, we are all people with these insides full of quirks and glory and happiness and meanness and hopes and dreams and expectations, we're so full of all this great stuff that someone's gonna love and they can't see any of it with their eyes.

BUT WHAT ABOUT THE MEDIA'S ROLE IN STOMPING ON OUR SELF IMAGE???!!! 

Good question bolded red words, the media has its fist so deep down our throats that its knuckles are splashing around in last night's oxtail soup. We can't escape it the media! It invades every pore of our society--so much so that I'm being a sellout just by using this blog engine powered by Blogger owned by GOOGLE to write about the negative affects of media and our attachment to it.

I watch celebrites glitter and shine as they traipse down plush red carpets, I follow gossip rags and salivate at couples I would give one article of clothing to be one half of, I do it all!!! Forwhy? Because it's so damn entertaining! It takes the mind off things that are probably not as entertaining, but a billiioncajillionvermillion times more fun, meaningful, productive and satisfying than watching this week's episode of HOW DA HELL DID DAT GUY DO DAT?! on insert three letter network name abbreviation here.

I'm not talking about movies, they are the technically under media's expansive shroud but you watch the right film, that movie is a piece of art, it makes you think, it makes you appreciate the movie itself--the actors, the way it was made--the cinematography, the lighting, the editing etc. (see this post of mine, it's not as in-depth as I could have gotten but you get the gist) So I'm not really referring to movies but I am referring to some of the tripe we watch that is unforgiveably laced with an onslaught of advertisements/mind control. Now I can't completely bash advertising because I know it's neccessary to sell products and keep the economy (especially this one) running, but we are shown a lot of commercials.

For instance, advertisments are full of impossibly beautiful women and men. Celebrities look so perfect that it seems like they could break under the weight of our direct stares with their symmetrical, beautiful glowing faces! Sadly most human beings who are womb-built are not perfect and perky and smooth. Anyway, now that I'm on my high horse, I'll say it,  I came across a website full of photographs of normal breasts. That's right real boobs, not the impossibly round saucers stuck to the chests of almost every woman bounding across our television/movie screens; normal, beautiful, big, small, even, uneven, real, breasts. It was a wonderful site and if I didn't want to appear to be peddling pictures of naked breasts, I would post the link. If I one day get comments and someone asks for the link, after a long and painful screening process I will provide you with it at the price of an open mind.

The site made me (as I often do) think about how media warps the minds of men and women everywhere in regard to their self-image. They see themselves as less than an image of the human body that is not only rare, but attainable only through extreme means while failing to be the actual, attainable, real standard of beauty. It's all a farce, and it's effing our heads beyond repair.

The challenge is to enjoy the media outlets since we can't hide from them (and we kinda don't want to) while keeping in mind we are beautiful men and women of content and thought and shining soul.

Before you turn on the television to become the sponge the media seeps into as I do when I watch the tube, remember you are wonderful just the way you are, all the imperfections, large feet (I wear a size 10! A size 10!! Jeez! I know! Yes I'm a woman!!) and thin eyelashes. Because goshslammit, like me, you look good. Don't get it twisted.

Now if only I could glue this blog post to the back of my eyelids so I can stop all the obsessing.

PEACY WEACY!!

A deft depiction of the human capacity for deceit and violence....

I'm sure the title above has never before been used to describe the movie Unfaithful, but it is a fitting one all the same. I watched the movie a few days ago and saw it and its characters in a new light.

My mother owns the film and I remember seeing it when it first came out in 2001however it didn't move me then as it did during my latest viewing. The movie's title, of course, denotes its plot--a married woman played by the beautiful Diane Lane engages in a heated affair with a handsome and sexy Parisian played by Olivier Martinez. The cuckolded husband is played by the also very handsome Richard Gere. The affair ends tragically as affairs often do, and I won't give away much more than that.

On the surface this movie seems straightforward and simple, but the darkness and intricacy of the film cannot be ignored. I watch A LOT of movies so the ones that totally get it right always strike a chord with me, Unfaithful definitely got "it" right.

At first encounter, the movie seems to be nothing more than an archetypical story of infidelity and betrayal within a marriage, but it is about much more than that--it brims with underlying themes of submission, responsiblity, and even human folly. You have to pay attention and/ or engage in repeated viewing of this film to truly feel the message and impact of the story.

Directed by Adrian Lyne whose impressive credits include Lolita, Nine 1/2 Weeks, Fatal Attraction, Indecent Proposal and the psychologically arresting Jacob's Ladder, Unfaithful is multi-layered, moody and smart. What's more, the soundtrack is spot on--when I heard a piano driven cover of Radiohead's "Exit Music (For A Film)" performed by jazz pianist Brad Mehldau  resounding over scenes of Lane's foray into sexual deceit I was floored and even further impressed.

The most vivid message I gleaned from the film was spoken by Martinez's character Paul to Lane's character Connie, "there is no such thing as a mistake, it's what you do or don't do," forgive me if this isn't the exact quote but I typed it from memory and you can be certain it's darn close to what was said verbatim. This is a truth that applies perfectly to the movie's main conflict and to life itself as we as people are called to make earth shattering decisions in everyday life.

I'm not speaking of anything as trivial as a mistake at work, an erasure of a math problem, the breaking of a dish, it applies to those choices that are actual forks in the road before us; the ones that force us to take the path that will lead to monumental disruption and pain, or the path that leads to smooth waters and comfort and peace of mind. Only, the choice isn't always so easy, and the right path is not always appealing--a fact that may force a person to choose the path of pitfall and regret. Sometimes a spark of passion or instant gratification dwarfs our need to keep the boat steady on the right course.

See the movie and experience all the subtle hints, the words spoken as afterthought, the slip ups, the sloppiness, the anger, the masks worn, the nature of human relationships that hearken to the mating habits of animals and therefore human beings--submission and dominance, mundanity versus risk and heart pumping passion. See it all and more, in Unfaithful!!

What do YOU think. Is it just a film about a cheating woman being selfish and uncaring or is it much deeper than that? Speak on Richard Gere's character while you're at it, I could write an entire blog post about his character, but I won't. I didn't realize how good and well made this movie was before, and now I'm paying proper homage and I trust you'll feel inclined to do the same.

Peacy Weacy!!

To twit or not to twit

Yes, two blog posts in one day! Success and power await me!

So I was looking up ways to promote this empty room known as my blog and the place I checked (balkhis.com) <<gotta give props--listed Twitter as an option, which, is good advice--for someone other than me. Now don't get me wrong, I already have a Twitter account, but I just couldn't get into it. My thoughts way surpass random blurbs of thought, and, I pride myself on always going against the grain, though, I do have a facebook and myspace account. Twitter is just so....over played. I don't like that media outlets prod me to  "follow them on twitter" and I don't want to feel worse about myself by following the tweets of vapid celebrities (okay not all celebrities are vapid but a lot of them are). I don't want to read about their unimaginably fabulous lives while my own life consists of mediocrity punctuated by stints of drama and emotional turmoil.

So Twitter is out. I'll stay on the grind and try to build readers but Twitter will be my last resort. I don't like what Twitter stands for, especially since our society is becoming so....embroiled in mindless entertainment and celebrities and celebrity gossip (which is a guilty pleasure of mine, I admit, I mean, I did link Dlisted for frank's sake).

Twitter doesn't appeal to me organically so I'll stay away. I'll try other avenues, and when those fail I'll probably turn to twitter with my tail between my amazing legs, but not right now, not today!

PeacyWeacy!!

I kid, I kid...

I joke a lot about my neurosis and my procrastination on this blog but that's only because it's true! Just kidding...I doubt I procrastinate any more or any less than the average sensory-overloaded American, however I am VERY hard on myself and since I am currently in a position where I have lots of freetime, I am trying to reign myself in and give myself structue.

I would like to focus on the positive aspects of mysef today, self deprecation can only take one so far...

~I'm an excellent speaker, and a human dictionary, otherwise known as a nerd!

~I am obsessed with correct grammer and spelling, though maybe this blog doesn't display this fact! It's informal, give me a break! Bet you didn't notice I spelled grammar wrong back there. Exactly. Life is a test sucka.

~I am an encyclopedia of music, movies, some history, books, etc. I know everything. Ask me.

~I'm gorgeous, maybe I'll post a pic sometime...

~I have an ENGLISH DEGREE, which may seem like a weakness but I assure you it's a strength!

~I am friendly--if you don't get on my bad side!! Watch out!

~I am open to new experiences, I tackle any task presented with fervor, and I try my best at EVERYTHING I do. Boredom is typically my enemy, if I get bored with something, that's when the procrastination sets in but I've made leaps and bounds in this department lately.

~I'm not doing "absolutely nothing" everyday, my one clear goal is to be a writer--a novelist in particular--and I write almost everyday. I'm working on a novel right now, I bet you can't wait to read it.

There's more but the self love is getting out of hand and I wouldn't want to make anyone feel bad about themselves. So...tell me, in a world where our weaknesses always seem to be the most stark in our eyes, what makes you amazing?

Indulge

High again beneath the snapping waves

Contorting in angles so sharp they cut

Fighting torrents of beasts from the deep

Reasoning with the dieties for redemption

Here above a sound is heard

Nothing is breathing

All platelets stopped

Above in a murmur plated in gold

Drone the words of a being inflated

Remember the blade and the ooze of the cut

Know not of the words of all before now

Take this as a good sign, because

the last thing I wanted to do today is write in this blog. Why? Who knows? Becuase I'm self-destructive and under motivated. Perhaps. But you're not a psychiatrist so don't make those groundless claims. Anyway, I'm here anyway, writing away, thinking about what useless self reflection I can spread across these vibrant pages today...

I'm coming along on my goals, but it's not easy. I'm still trudging through Final Fantasy 12 although I broke my '1 game at a time rule' by starting Dragon Quest 9 on the DSi, and it's a well needed breath of fresh air after playing only FF12 for the last couple of weeks, though I will say, and I never ever thought I would say this, I'm getting a little RPG'd out. I think that after I finish FF12 and DQIX, I might take a break from the RPG's for a spell.

I recently picked up Metal Gear Solid:Peacewalker for the PSP, and I'm really excited to play it which is why I'm trying even harder to get a fire under my patootie to make me finish FF12. That game is absolutely relentless.

Guitar is coming along quite nicely, I'm practicing daily and steadily and I'm improving in a painstakingly slow manner but I'm still interested and I haven't let it sit in the corner forgotten yet like many hobby's before it, so I'll take that as a good sign!! This is only day...5 I think of having it, if not less so I can't be too proud yet, it could still be given up on yet...but it won't, darn doubt is a powerful thing! Don't let it overpower you, reader, it is a crippling ravenous unrelenting thing!!

Life is progressing a little better than it had been previously, usually I'm a complete slave to my thoughts worries but I've become a little less so as of late. Gotta give props to myself for that because usually I am absolutely neurotic, which has lead me to decide to read about Carl Jung's theory of neurosis to gain a little more perspective on this whole thing because typically I joke about being neurotic, but in true American hypochondriac form I've also discovered that a lot of the symptoms of neurosis could apply to me if I weren't so beautiful and "normal"!!

Anyway, thanks for reading. I hope that the world is treating you better than it is me, and if it isn't, it's your own dang fault:)

PeacyWeacy!

Inundating myself with learning new hobbies

What better way to solve my addiction to procrastination than taking on another thing that will inevitably apply more pressure to my already scattered brain?

I'm trying to learn guitar!! This foray into musical astuteness has already caused fourteen fights between me and my teacher/right hand man. I'm probably a bad student, and he's definitely a bad teacher. So...

I should probably try to secure some lessons--lessons will serve to teach me while also forcing me to practice and stick with it beyond two days.

My fingers already hurt and I've already frustrated my only human guidebook to the world of guitar. So what else is new??

Well, as you can see there's still no top video games list--and there won't be until I finish slothing my way through Final Fantasy 12--which is amazing by the way, but hard and long. That's what she said.

So I'm trying to finish that game and then the list will be up. In the mean time I don't plan to go this long between blog posts again, so if you're out there, my lone bored reader, prepare to get served a dish of my disjointed ramblings at least every other day, barring natural disaster or severe sickness.

Thanks for stopping by!

PeacyWeacy!